“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves”.

A STORY OF COURAGE

INTRODUCTION

To know my story and comprehend the harm that has been caused to me and to my family, you need to understand a couple of things;

1.)     The term “therapist” used in my narrative includes; any healthcare practitioner, substance-abuse counselor, addiction specialist, life coach, ADHD counselor, clergy, spiritual advisor, meditation consultant, psychologist, psychiatrist or any other professional engaged in providing counseling and behavior modification services.

 

2.)     Because the relationship is extraordinarily emotional and intimate, there is an inherent imbalance of power formed between a therapist and a client/patient. The imbalance of power is created when the client/patient discloses deeply personal thoughts, feelings and behaviors that make them vulnerable. Because of the imbalance of power, it is the ethical responsibility of the therapist to provide a physically and emotionally safe environment so clients/patients can reveal, process and transcend the most difficult aspects of their psyche in order to heal. 

 

3.)     When a client/patient seeks help from a behavioral health facility, addiction rehab, clinic or from an independent behavioral health professional, they are often suffering and vulnerable. To protect them from abuse and exploitation, standards of care, criminal laws and civil statutes have been enacted. These standards, laws and statues establish responsibilities that therapists must follow to prevent harm to the client/patient. In addition, the codes of ethics in all mental health professions prohibits sexual relationships with client/patients and characterize these relationships as an offense and an abuse of the client/patient.

 

4.)     A sexual relationship between a therapist and their client/patient is strictly prohibited by all ethical standards and is illegal in most states. There is no such thing as “consensual” sex between a therapist and their client/patient and it is always the responsibility of the therapist to maintain that boundary.

 

Unfortunately, there are a small number of therapists that will take advantage of the power differential that is inherent in these relationships and abuse the client/patients vulnerability and SEXUALLY EXPLOIT the client/patient.  This is often referred to as EMOTIONAL RAPE. In my case, I was suffering from severe alcohol and drug addiction. My issues with ADHD, depression and low self-esteem were deep. I was unhappy and depressed. My personal life, my family life and my relationships were all suffering. I had experienced significant trauma in my childhood. I was engaging in behavior that was destroying my family, my health and that could have been potentially fatal to me.  When I entered treatment, I was looking for HELP! I WAS NOT looking for a sex partner. I WAS vulnerable. I WAS trusting. I WAS taken advantage of. I WAS EXPLOITED!!

HOW I MET GUY B. YEADON, MA COUSELING PSYCHOLOGY

(CURRENTLY SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR AT INFINITE RECOVERY)

 

In the winter of 2015, after decades of drug and alcohol addiction, I checked myself into The Promises Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Center in Austin, Texas. I chose The Promises because they offered a “holistic” approach to treating “the whole body” using licensed professionals to offer traditional therapy as well as mindfulness, meditation, spirituality and experiential addiction treatments. The holistic approach was very appealing to me as I had many failed attempts at 12-Step and Faith based programs and I thought that maybe a holistic approach would offer me a new opportunity for sobriety.   

When I entered treatment at The Promises, I was introduced to a “therapist” named Guy B. Yeadon. Guy was presented to me as a drug and alcohol counselor with a Masters in Counseling Psychology from a local seminary and specializing in dual diagnosis treatment of addiction and ADHD using education, meditation, spirituality and mindfulness behavioral therapy.   

Initially, Guy seemed to be a neat person. He appeared to be in his early 50s, wore jeans, had tattoos, was charismatic, had a great sense of humor, seemed caring and had an easy-going nature that appealed to me. I felt comfortable with him and found him relatively easy to talk to. I trusted Guy, which was ultimately the biggest mistake of my life!!!

HOW I WAS “GROOMED”

Grooming means training someone for a particular purpose by bringing them in close to gain their trust and learning as much about them as you can, so you can then use what you learn to exploit the person’s vulnerabilities.

Unethical therapists and sexual predators often groom clients/patients using the vulnerability that exists in a therapeutic relationship and by offering excessive flattery, promises, gifts, enticing words, physical contact and mental manipulation techniques that disarm a vulnerable person and overcome the person’s defenses by slowly desensitizing the person’s natural reactions to inappropriate behavior.

So how was I groomed? I had met with Guy once or twice a week for four weeks while I was a patient at The Promises. I attended Guy’s meditations; I listened to his lectures and had many personal conversations with him as it related to my addiction and my ADHD. His assessments of my issues were very kind and flattering. He frequently made flirtatious comments about my physical beauty, my clothes, my personality and he often did it in front of large groups of women which, given my low self-esteem, left me feeling important, appreciated and very special. 

A few weeks into our sessions at The Promises, Guy began to solicit me to come to see him at his “private practice” and continue my “therapy”. This was a convincing proposition for me because his kind words, compliments and flirtatious flattery were leaving me with an unbelievable sense of confidence and self-esteem. Clearly, Guy knew and understood me far better than any other therapist had, or so I thought, and his kind words were enticing to me. He really made me feel special, so I agreed. At the time, I did not understand that it was inappropriate and I did not realize that he was “grooming” me for what would later be a hard lesson in sexual exploitation. 

I started seeing Guy at his private practice just a short time after my release from The Promises.  I was meeting Guy at his office at TLEC (The Life Empowerment Center) where he officed and worked.  I attended weekly meditations at The Infinite Recovery Rehabilitation Center and a couple of Sunday church services at The Church of Conscious Harmony, both in Austin, Texas. These were the places where Guy provided his “treatment services” to me.

I enjoyed my first couple of sessions with Guy, which were often humorous and fun. He listened to me. He wanted to hear what I had to say and seemed to understand me.  Guy also had a unique spirituality about him. His spiritual practice and religious philosophy was very enticing to me. He seemed to have all the answers to life, love and the universe. Because of that, I developed a deep respect for him. I looked up to him as my therapist, teacher, spiritual guide and someone who could counsel me, advise me, protect me and perpetuate my sobriety.  He also continued to make excessive compliments about my beauty, my body and my personality.   

During our second session, Guy convinced me to seek ADHD testing with TLEC owner James Ochoa, who was a therapist that worked in Guy’s office. Guy assured me he knew I was ADHD and would benefit from the testing and medication. I took the test and low and behold, I was severe ADHD.  After that diagnosis, I visited with an ADHD specialist in Houston and had medication prescribed. After a couple months of taking the medication, I decided that the medication was just not for me. I was abusing the medication and I did not like the way it made me feel. I told Guy of this and he asked me to send him my unused medication. I was confused as to why he would want my medication, but I complied with his request anyway. During our next session a couple of days later, I noticed that Guy seemed a little HIGH. I asked Guy if he was taking my medication and he said “Yes”. I thought to myself WTF! This person is supposed to be my “addiction” therapist and he is high and taking my meds!!

On or about our third or fourth session, Guy suggested that I see a holistic body reader named “Energy Erik”. Erik performed a “reading” for me and told me I had a strong Sexual Chakra. Guy also referred me to a seminar that teaches women to become “Warrior Goddesses” and teaches that a woman’s sexual energy is the “core of her creative flow”. The seminar also suggests that open sexual relationships with friends, family or anyone who made you feel good is paramount to being a strong woman. At first, I did not think much of it. I thought perhaps it was his way of helping me work more deeply into some of my trauma issues and supporting me during my recovery.  However, shortly after the reading and the seminar, my sessions with Guy became much more intimate and inappropriate. Guy began to make more frequent sexual jokes and innuendos in our sessions. He even started to invite me to stay over on the weekends and spend personal time with him. Guy also invited me on a vacation to a monastery in Colorado with he and some friends.

Guy continued to make flattering comments about my body, compliment my appearance, ask me about my sexual history and even make off-handed remarks about things we could be doing if not for the therapeutic restrictions. These remarks usually started with “If you and I were to have sex…” and always took me by surprise. I would stare at him, trying to figure out if he was joking or serious, but I could never read him.

During our subsequent sessions we would often discuss issues related to my ADHD, my emotions and my marriage, but for some reason the subject of sex would always come up. Guy would often tell me of his past girlfriends and sex partners and then ask me about mine. Guy told me that he was a “13th stepper” in AA for many years and Guy would often solicit my sexual thoughts and ideas. It seemed odd to me at the time and looking back, I realize that he was testing the waters. He was trying to see how far I would go. 

Even though I knew something was not right and I saw the red flags, the grooming had really caused me to drop my defenses and overlook the warnings. I thought to myself that this therapist was amazing! Guy really knows how to make me feel good about myself. I was sober. I was special. I was really feeling the effects of the compliments, the seminars, the readings and my self-esteem was booming. I let my defenses down. I was groomed!

EXPLOITATION

At this point in my therapy, I started to have romantic feelings for Guy.  At the time, I did not know, but I learned that these feelings are common in the therapist/client relationship and are referred to as “Transference”.  When I told Guy of my feelings, he and I discussed the fact that the feelings were “Transference” and he assured me that he could not react to them and that this was something we would discuss and monitor as the therapy sessions continued. He stated that I was totally safe because he could not return these feelings.

I was thinking about Guy all the time and our sessions had become more intimate, more sexualized and more highly charged. Over time he had progressed from sexual innuendo and jokes, to full-blown sex talk. I had asked him to stop a couple of times but he did not.

Guy then began to express his sexual feelings towards me. He often told me how he would like to “shag me in his office bathroom” and made comments like “if you were my wife I would bend you over all over the house”.  He would often hug me and then make jokes about getting a “hard-on”.  He also started telling me about his sexual fantasies with me and his masturbation. He was intentionally trying to get me turned-on.

Guy would often post things on social media that reflected the conversations he and I had in his office.  Many of these posts were loving, intimate, and clearly directed at me. They were wrought with suggestions of love and happiness and were enticing me to leave my family and join him. 

Guy was really trying hard to get me to spend personal time with him. He continued to invite me on vacations and trips; he wanted me to hang out with him over the weekends. He invited me to dinner and to concerts. He also suggested that I leave my husband and family so that he and I could open a rehab center together. He told me we were the same. He told me we were a perfect match.

Guy approached all our sexual conversations with nonchalance but, because he fascinated me, there seemed to be no reason for concern. He told me that he trusted me, and that he wanted me to be happy and feel good. He told me I deserved that, and he said he wanted to give that to me.

I never knew what was going to happen in our sessions or which aspect of Guy’s sexual innuendo I would be dealing with. Every session we had would end up about sex and the simple sexual banter had progressed to all out sex-talk and we even talked about planning sexual intercourse. Because of the way he gradually introduced more and more sexual contact, progressing to the next step never seemed like much of a leap.

In late November 2015, Guy asked me why we did not test the limits. Was I afraid of making a mistake? Was I running from him? Well, of course I was! I was scared to death. I was married! I was a nervous wreck! I was losing weight! I was losing my hair!  However, I still kept going back for more.  At this point, the inappropriate conversation and sexual advances started cause me more and more anxiety. While some of the things, he did felt nice, at other times I found myself spacing out, forgetting time and not feeling anything at all. This often happened when he would talk about sex. I felt confused. I again asked him to stop but, often, I felt too embarrassed and uncomfortable to push the issue. I was scared. I was confused. Why he would go so far for me? Why would he take such risks? It made me feel very special. It made me feel like he loved me and I wanted prove my worthiness to him. I thought I was different. I thought I was special. I really did not want to lose this special attention and I was careful not to give him any reason to withdraw it.

Guy assured me that he was there for me and that it would be okay for us to push the envelope. Let go, surrender to whatever feelings I might be having, live in the moment, in the here and now, if it were meant to happen it would happen, just let go and see what happens as he used to say! Between the grooming, transference and natural psychological attachment, I became addicted to him; I was willing to do pretty much anything he suggested. I was hooked.

Guy also made sure that I knew that, whatever we chose to do, we could never have a relationship outside and around the people we know. He made sure to let me know that he was breaking the rules and if anyone found out what we were doing, he would lose his job. We had to be careful and keep things “hush hush”.  

In early December 2015, I succumbed to Guy’s suggestion. I agreed to have sex with him. He had been soliciting nude photos from me and was encouraging me to “be bold” and send him pictures of everything. He told me he would hold anything I sent in great confidence. Since we had already been sexting over a cell phone almost daily for a month, sex did not seem like much of a leap. On December 27th, we made a specific plan to meet at a bar, then go to a hotel, and spend the weekend together. We were going to have sex and I was all in!  I was leaving my family for good and having sex with my therapist!!

I am going to stop the story there. What happened next is not relevant. What I will say is WE DID NOT HAVE SEX. I stopped it. It was inappropriate and I knew it. Guy knew it too! Early on, he was very clear that what he was doing was a violation of the rules and the code of ethics and that if anyone found out he would lose his job.

THE AFTER MATH

For seven months I had regular therapy sessions with Guy Yeadon and even though these sessions were wrought with sexual banter, sexual innuendo and sexual advances by him, he took payment for every session!!!  I spent these seven months feeling like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. The emotional and physical bonding that occurred when we talked about sex was intense and would leave me feeling high; but once that wore off, I would panic. I was afraid. I was constantly experiencing cycles of intense psychological bonding with my therapist followed by extreme instability, insecurity, emotional and physical despair along with a deep fear of loss and abandonment. I felt depressed, anxious, confused and ashamed.

I found myself caught up in a cycle. My hair was falling out, I was losing weight. My moods were all over the place. I hit bottom. I lost all sense of personal power and had very little sense of self. I felt worthless. I felt so much despair, confusion and pain that I really did not want to live.  I taught myself to disconnect from my emotions so that I would not feel the pain. I tried to make everything not matter in order to survive.

I have started revealing the secrets. I have told my family what had been going on and went to see another therapist who referred me to a trauma center for treatment. I‘ve launched an all-out desperate search for healing,

I HAVE tried to make sense of what happened and fill the void left by the sexual exploitation.  What I have learned is that Guy betrayed me. He abused me. He took advantage of my vulnerabilities and my trust and exploited me. Sex between a therapist and client/patient is NEVER OK and he knew it!

I have also learned that spirituality, mysticism, mind-control and brainwashing played a big part in my relationship with Guy. He often used teachings from Eastern philosophy in our therapy. He regularly recommended books by “new age gurus”. He was big on subjects that had to do with not taking responsibility for one’s choices, letting go of emotions and thinking happy thoughts by living in the here and now and embracing your dark side. He often referred to a mystical realm where a transmission of energy could turn your life around and heal whatever ailed you. I chanted mantras that he taught me. Prayed to Gods I did not understand and attended sessions with instructors that encouraged me to explore sexuality with multiple partners and open my third eye and sexual chakras.

I have proceeded to break all of my ties to Eastern Religion and Mysticism. I have done this not simply because I associated it with Guy, but because I have discovered many more accounts alleging that others who claimed to be spiritually enlightened therapists like Guy, have engaged in sexually abusive relationships like this one.

Although I thought that everything would be fine once I was out and away from him, in fact, things got worse. Now I have a new problem to contend with; PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). It is common for abuse victims to experience PTSD and that is certainly the case for me.

I have also had to deal with the loss of the fantasy I had been so sure was real. The disillusionment was traumatic and the fact that I had believed in him, left me feeling very ashamed!! Also, after a couple of months feeling oddly after breaking off contact with him, I have started to experience major anxiety, hypervigilance, brain fog, light-headedness intrusive memories, flashbacks - the works.

I have had to contend with all the reminders of him that are triggering my PTSD responses, the repressed feelings that were now making themselves known and the near-daily realizations about what had actually been going on all that time. WHAT GUY DID TO ME WAS WRONG!

IT IS NEVER OK FOR A COUNSLEOR TO TRY TO HAVE SEX WITH A CLIENT/PATIENT. THE HARM THIS CAUSES TO THE PATIENT IS IMMEASUABLE, LONG LASTING AND POTENTIALLY LIFE THREATENING. 

GETTING MY POWER BACK

Guy has never taken responsibility for his actions or the impact they had on me. The decision to file a civil lawsuit has not been an easy one. Several people have suggested that it would be a way for me to “get my power back”.  My husband has met with an attorney but I have not yet began the process of filing the civil complaints.

Recovery is not a short-term process. Healing from an experience like this is difficult. Expressing difficult memories and feelings is confusing. My perspective on what happened and why it happened changes daily as I reach deeper and deeper into levels of awareness and understanding. I am angry. I am angry with Guy for what he did to me. I am angry with myself for turning an abusive relationship into a fantasy.

Such a big part of healing is accepting oneself and one’s reality. I cannot undo the past. This will always be part of my life. However, I can learn to accept it.  I did the best I could. I did the only thing I knew how to do. It is now up to me to accept myself and offer myself my own forgiveness and compassion.

What Guy did was unconscionable. I was his client/patient.

I feel very grateful for the support of my friends and family as well as the subsequent therapists and healthcare practitioners who have helped me during my recovery process.

 

INSPIRING HOPE FOR HEALING & EMPOWERING THOSE

AFFECTED WITH SEXUAL ABUSE BY A THERAPIST

Guy B. Yeadon, MA Counseling Psychology was my ABUSER